I've noticed something lately as I have been trying to schedule playdates for Zoey. On a side note, it's a little ridiculous how many phone calls it takes to get two four year olds to play together, but I guess that is how it is today. We actually live in a family friendly neighborhood for the most part, but a lot of kids are older and I think due to rising house prices, the neighborhood is changing a little bit. Not many young families are able to buy a house, so the number of young children is getting smaller. This is not just my keen neighborhood watch eye making observations, we live near the school and the janitor fills us in on all kinds of tidbits, i.e. school enrollment is down and continues that way for our particular school. So we can't just meet up with friends in the park to play. That was definitely a plus of living on an Air Force Base, lots of kids, and because everyone is in a similar situation, you kind of instantly bond and realize one of you may be moving soon, so let's just get down to business and play. Anyways, bringing a playdate into the house made me realize in some ways we are asking kids to do something that we would never do ourselves... We have children come over who aren't on the comfort level of being family or even great friends and yet we tell our kids to share, share, share. Well, of course, we say that. We want our kids to be kind and to share and learn how to be good friends in that sense, and in many ways, Zoey is very good at that. She will share her toys, or yummy snacks very willingly, unless it appears the other child (or usually their younger sibling) just comes in and starts going through everything. Now I am pretty laid back and realize they are just discovering new toys and have no problem with them going through all the stuff, but Max and Zoey don't like it very much. And why would they? Someone is seriously invading their turf. At first I was upset that they weren't good "sharers", but then I realized that they both really are a lot of times. We see it often and reinforce it daily, but sometimes, we are forcing them into an uncomfortable situation. Other kids totally invading their space and often in a careless, and haphazard manner that they are not used to has to be a little alarming for them. And then I thought... You know what, I would never go to your house and walk right in opening all of your cupboards, trying out the food, and looking through your CD's and opening them up and just start playing them. It would be really weird and uncomfortable. I mean, I am talking about the public stuff too, not your underwear drawer... so why would we think it is okay with our kids? (I will admit that when I went to my sister's house I went into her big walk-in closet, off the bathroom where I had just showered, and tried on some shoes... but she is my sister, and she has a gadzillion shoes, and I am a girl, and I have been trying on her shoes since I was eight years old)
I guess we just naturally grow out of that stage. Zoey and her friends, the 4/5 year olds, I see, are realizing that you just don't go rummaging through stuff without asking or being shown things, so I guess at some point things change... this was mostly an observation of a younger girl sibling going through Max's stuff)
Just a thought, I mean, if you are coming over and your a friend or family, by all means help yourself out to the food in my fridge or books on my shelf... I may even share my shoes:) Acquaintances, however, please proceed with caution.
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